


we (don't) go it alone

by fireflyslove



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Empath, F/M, Handwavery, Ignoring Canon, Multi, Pre-Poly, Therapy, therapy but done wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25396030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflyslove/pseuds/fireflyslove
Summary: Post-Breaking Dawn canon divergence. Jacob still imprinted on Renesmee, but instead of whatever the hell SMeyer intended, he is nothing more or less than her third parent. Oh, and he's still desperately in love with Bella.Or: I contemplate the age old question, "If Jacob was in love with Bella's egg, shouldn't he have been in love with Edward's sperm too?"
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Bella Swan, pre-Edward/Bella/Jacob
Comments: 20
Kudos: 115





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, it was always going to come to me writing Twilight fic. 
> 
> I just didn't expect it to be OT3 fic. But that's where we are, and I'm embracing the Renesmeessance. 
> 
> I'm blithely ignoring all of Twilight's major issues, because I'm here for a good time. And apparently adult Twilight fan me is a hardcore Edward stan. Who knew? (I mean I unironically wore Team Edward shirts back in the day, but.... Ok maybe the signs were always there.)
> 
> This is just me pushing the ends of the Twilight love triangle together. 
> 
> Standard disclaimer that I'm not a medical professional and though Jasper claims to be, he only knows what I know, so his advice is unsound at best. 
> 
> Title paraphrased from The Chicks' song My Best Friend's Weddings, because that's what I wrote this fic to, but it's the opposite mood.

_ “It’s not what you think it is, Bella.” _

And truly, it wasn’t. When Jacob had said, years ago now, that he would be whatever the person on whom he imprinted needed, he hadn’t fully understood what that meant. And then he had imprinted on the daughter of his best friend/the person he loved the most in the world and…

He hadn’t suddenly found himself in love with an infant. The very idea filled him with revulsion. He was still firmly in love with her mother. No, he found himself with an entirely new kind of love for this remarkable tiny being. It was like a gulf had opened in him, and he would die for her, live for her, go to the ends of the earth for her. At the time, he kept these feelings tamped far down, never letting them bubble to the surface where a passing thought might leak out. 

But months after the Volturi left, Jacob was sitting on the Cullens’ expansive deck, staring pensively into the forest, and finally let himself actually think about the future. For the last two years he had been living for the moment, maybe for the immediate future. Heartbreak and heartfix, heartbreak again, he had slid into the mindset of the wolf, letting the world become a simpler place. 

He had been in Sam’s head, he knew what the other alpha felt for the person  _ he _ had imprinted on, and it was a very different kind of love than the one Jacob felt. The depth and breadth of the feeling were the same, but Sam’s feelings for Emily were romantic and Jacob’s for Renesmee were… something entirely different. 

When Jacob looked forward, he saw nothing but a blur. For all that he had been grateful a thousand times over that Alice couldn’t see his future, he could really use a bit of fortune telling right now. 

“You just need to look inside yourself,” a light voice said from behind him.

He jumped. He had been so deep in thought he hadn’t heard Alice’s approach.

“What, can you read minds now too?” he spat sarcastically. 

“No, but your face is easy to read,” Alice said. “The future isn’t set in stone, even the ones I can see, which is significantly less than I used to be able to.” At this last, she tilted her head toward him significantly.

“I’d apologize, but I’m not actually sorry,” Jacob said.

“It’s Renesmee too,” Alice said. “Though, sometimes it’s like I can almost glance a flicker. I wonder if it will become clearer with time and exposure.”

“Well we’re all immortal, so I guess we can find out,” Jacob said with a heavy sigh, standing up and beginning to pace. 

“This isn’t a choice any of us made,” Alice said. “But it’s rarely dull.”

“One of us chose it,” Jacob said, with a glance out toward Edward and Bella’s Scenic Woodland Cottage.

“Yes, well, Bella is an exception to many rules,” Alice said.

Jacob turned to say something rude, but she was already good. He just shook his head. He didn’t resent Bella and Edward anymore. He was still deeply in love with Bella, likely he always would be, but that didn’t seem to matter as much now. 

“Jacob!” Renesmee shouted, running across the clearing toward him. 

“Ness!” he said, his face brightening instantly.

-

From an upstairs room, Bella watched her best friend and her daughter run off into the woods, russet fur and bronzed hair glinting in the rare sunlight. 

“I’m worried about him,” she said.

“I know,” Edward said, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on top of her head.

“He’s not over me, despite what he says,” Bella said. “And... “ she sighed, “there’s a part of me that still loves him too.”

“I know,” Edward repeated. 

“I wish I could help him. Sit him down with a therapist, make him work out his issues,” Bella said. “He once asked me if I knew how tightly he was bound. Now I just think he’s emotionally constipated.” 

That startled a snort out of Edward. “We’re going to need to find a very special therapist,” he said.

A throat cleared from behind them, and they turned to find Jasper standing at the door. 

“You know,” he said, perhaps too casually, “I have a few degrees in psychology  _ and _ I’m an empath.” He cocked a hand in the air. 

“You think you can make him talk?” Bella asked.

“It’s worth a try,” Jasper said. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

-

“No, absolutely not,” Jacob said. “I am  _ not _ having a therapy session with any of you. I’m perfectly fine!” 

“Jake, you snapped at the oven for taking too long to preheat yesterday,” Bella said.

“All right fine, it’s been a stressful… few years,” Jacob said. “But…” he reached for an excuse but couldn’t find one. Glaring at Jasper, he said. “No manipulating my emotions.”

“Scout’s honor,” Jasper said. “Cross my heart.”

“Have you ever even been a Boy Scout?” Jacob asked. 

“Nope,” Jasper said.

-

“So what am I supposed to do, talk about my mom?” Jacob picked at the log he was seated on, feeling deeply uncomfortable. He and Jasper had gone far away from the rest of the family, well out of anyone’s earshot. 

“If that’s what you want,” Jasper said. “But I don’t think it is. You’re confused, yes?” 

“You said you wouldn’t manipulate me,” Jacob said.

“I’m not,” Jasper said. “I’m merely reading your surface emotions. It’s as natural to me as breathing is to you.”

“How do I know you’re not lying?” 

“Do you want a demonstration?” 

“Of what?” 

“My ability. Just a brief one,” Jasper said. “I won’t be offended if you say no.”

Jacob thought about it. He was starting to trust most of the Cullens, but Jasper had always seemed like a wild card, just a little bit distant. 

“What the hell,” Jacob said under his breath. “Nothing stupid.”

Jasper nodded, and then focused an intense gaze on Jacob. Suddenly Jacob was filled with an alien giddiness, the urge to get up and dance. As soon as he recognized the feeling, it reversed, and he was plunged into a trough of sorrow, he wanted to weep. And then he regained his equilibrium. He shook his head to clear it, an echo of his canine form.

“That was… different,” he said. 

“Do you believe me now?” Jasper asked. 

“I do,” Jacob said. “To answer your earlier question, yeah, I’m fucking confused.”

“Do you know what you’re confused about?” Jasper asked. 

“Of course I do—” Jacob started, but then stopped. If he thought about it, he wasn’t actually sure. 

“And there’s the root of your problem,” Jasper said. “You’re confused, and that makes you frustrated, and it’s a vicious cycle from there.”

“But what am I confused about?” Jacob said.

“I can’t read your mind,” Jasper said, “only your emotions. You could ask…”

“Edward to read my mind?” Jacob interrupted. “Yeah, that’ll be a cold day in hell.”

“Then you must read your own thoughts,” Jasper said. “This is a Gordian knot and I would rather not cut through it. So what’s one thing you’re confused about? Not all of them, just one.”

“Renesmee,” Jacob replied promptly. 

“What about her?”

“I thought when I imprinted, I would stop feeling what I feel for Bella, but I haven’t,” Jacob said. “And Bella’s married now, and I  _ imprinted _ . I was only in love with her because Renesmee was inside her.”

“Were you?” Jasper asked, voice neutral. “You’ve been telling yourself that, but I can tell you that your feelings for Bella are genuine and independent of your imprint.”

“They’re different now,” Jacob said. “They’re not as intense.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Jasper said.

Jacob nodded.

“If you were so intensely attracted to Bella because the egg that would become Renesmee was in her, did you ever feel something for  _ Edward _ ?”

“What?” Jacob squawked, “No, of course not!” ( _ Right? Of course not. Surely. No. Tamp it down.) _

“Emotionally constipated indeed,” Jasper muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry?” Jacob asked. 

“Nothing,” Jasper said. “So you love Bella. What does that have to do with Renesmee?” 

“I know how an imprint is supposed to feel,” Jacob said. “Even with very young imprints, it feels different than this.”

“How are they different?” 

“I can’t explain it,” Jacob said. “I actually literally have no words for it if you haven’t experienced it.”

“Hmm,” Jasper said. “I… well, honestly I hate to make the same suggestion twice in as many minutes, but you might find some clarity if you let someone else look at your thoughts.”

“Where the hell did you get your psychology degree?” Jacob asked. 

“This is not exactly a textbook therapy session,” Jasper said. 

“You know what? What the hell,” Jacob said. “If I’m gonna bare my soul, I might as well bare it to the whole fucking world.”

“Edward can be discreet when it suits him,” Jasper said. “And I’ll make sure he understands the gravity of the situation.”

“Fine,” Jacob said. 

“Do you want me to call him and ask him to come now?” 

“Sure, why not.”

It took a matter of moments, but Jasper lifted his head, and blurred out of the clearing. Jacob could actually hear the hushed conversation he had with Edward, but he pretended not to out of politeness. 

They returned, and Edward nodded to him, but stayed across the clearing, leaning up against a tree. It was really unfair how  _ pretty _ he was. (His eyebrow twitched at this thought, but he said nothing.)

“Alright, Jacob,” Jasper said. “This is going to work a bit like meditation. I want you to close your eyes and just let whatever thoughts come to mind flow. I know it sounds like a bunch of new age shit, but it’s called mindfulness.”

Jacob sighed, rolled his eyes and his shoulders, and closed his eyelids. He spent the first few minutes thinking hard about not thinking but eventually he felt other things bubbling to the surface, and he let them go. 

It was snippets, really, Renesmee, Bella, Jacob-and-Bella, Edward-and-Bella, Renesmee-and-Bella, sandwich, Leah-gone, Renesmee, baby-Renesmee, grown-up-Renesmee, Jacob-and-Renesmee, Jacob-and-Bella, Bella-and-Jacob, Edward-and-Bella-and-Jac… He snapped his eyes open and pushed that one down,  _ far  _ down.

He blinked a few times, then found matching pairs of topaz eyes regarding him. 

“Well?” he said. “Did you figure it out?” 

“It’s interesting,” Edward said. “You think of Renesmee the same way I do. Bella too, to a lesser extent.”

“I’m sorry?” Jacob said. 

“I caught glimpses of the way Sam thinks of Emily,” Edward said. “It’s not the same, you’re right about that.”

“What do you mean ‘the same way you do’?” Jacob asked. 

“You feel deeply for her,” Edward said, looking to Jasper for confirmation, who nodded. “But it’s the way a father feels about his child.”

“That’s why I couldn’t identify it,” Jasper said. “I was, and I apologize for this, looking for romantic feelings, fraternal maybe, but not paternal. It’s a deep and abiding feeling, an absolute fact, but Edward’s right.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jacob asked. 

“It means that imprinting is not a neat solution to a messy emotional problem,” Jasper said. 

Jacob laughed hollowly, “Of course it isn’t. No one ever said it was.”

“But you’ve been acting like it is,” Jasper said. 

Jacob glanced up, and Edward was gone. He gave a small thought of thanks for at least the illusion of privacy that he hoped the bloodsucker heard. 

“So what am I supposed to do now? I’m not Renesmee’s father, and she already has one. Hell, she’s got all of you. And I’m still in love with Bella, and she’s married and happily so. I just get the eternal short end of the fucking stick. Fuck, why did I think this was a good idea?”

He felt the emotion ripple through him, it was his own, of that he was sure, and Jasper had the good sense to back off. 

“Go,” Jasper said. “Run. You’ll feel better afterwards.”

Jacob had the presence of mind to remove most of his clothes before he shifted, and then he was off like a shot, into the woods, the quiet silence of the mountains beckoning him. 

_ Typical, _ he thought angrily at himself.  _ Run away from your problems. Because that’s always worked out so well for you in the past.  _ But run he did. 

For a while. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Your Bitch, back again to toss more Twilight fic at you. 
> 
> I'm avoiding having to read Breaking Dawn by writing this.
> 
> Y'all gonna get a Leah/OFWitchyC fic pretty damn soon, too.

He was hot, surrounded by a world of ice. Pain blazed down his right side, and he twisted away from it, which only increased the agony. Ice wrapped itself gently but firmly around his wrist, another at his shoulder, and pushed him down. He went back into the darkness. 

-

Jacob woke in a haze of distant pain. 

“What?” he said, blinking to try to clear the blur in his eyes. 

“He’s awake!” someone’s voice said. 

Jacob wasn’t entirely sure where he was, only that he was lying on a soft bed and that he had an injury somewhere on his right side. 

“Jacob, please lie still,” a different voice said. It took him longer than he liked to place it. “I have to make sure the breaks are setting properly.” Carlisle. So he was at the Cullens’ house. But why?

“How? What?” Jacob said while the doctor probed at his ribs. “What happened?” 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” 

“I was chasing something…” Jacob said. “In the forest somewhere…”

His vision had cleared a bit, and he saw Carlisle glance over his head at someone.

“Five days ago, Renesmee woke up with a blazing headache and the certainty that you were in mortal peril,” Carlisle said. “We found you up in the mountains, lying at the foot of a cliff. Most of your ribs were broken and already healing. And... “ he glanced up, then back at Jacob, and then gently lifted Jacob’s right arm into his field of vision. 

It took him a moment to spot it in the low light, but the slight glimmer made his stomach drop. Halfway between his elbow and his wrist was the perfect imprint of a human bite mark, rendered in glittering relief. 

“What the fuck,” Jacob said. 

“You’ve had a fever for four days,” Carlisle continued. “The venom almost killed you, and it slowed your healing process.” 

“Who bit me?” Jacob asked.

“We don’t know,” the voice, Bella’s, then, said from behind him. “They were gone by the time Leah tracked you down.”

“Leah?” 

“You were out of it,” Bella said. “She and Seth found you.” 

“Well shit,” Jacob said. 

“It looks like they’re healing, but you should stay still for at least another day,” Carlisle said. “How’s your pain?” 

“Fuzzy,” Jacob said. 

“Good, that means the morphine’s working. Your fever seems to have finally broken, but I think you might have set a new record for body temperature.” 

“Nothing but the best,” Jacob said.

“Well, at least we have an unlimited supply of ice packs,” Carlisle said, an amused look on his face, obviously sharing a private joke. “You should get as much sleep as you can, Jake.”

“I’ll try,” Jacob said. 

Carlisle left, and Jacob asked, “Bella, are you still there?”

“I am,” she said.

“What was that about ice packs?” 

Bella laughed, a quiet thing, “You know how if someone has a really high fever you’re supposed to put them in an ice bath to cool them down?” 

“Yeah?”

A hand flashed into his vision, and he suddenly realized Bella was not only behind him, she was  _ right  _ behind him. “Ice packs,” she said.

“There’s something really wrong about that,” he said. 

“Hey, if it works.”

“I suppose.” He was interrupted by his stomach growling loudly. 

“Sandwich?” Bella asked.

“Six, please,” Jacob said. 

“I’ve only got the one.”

“I’ll take it.”

He ate it in three bites, and then was surprised to find himself getting tired again, a yawn splitting his face. 

“Go back to sleep, Jake,” Bella said. 

-

She heard Jacob’s breath dropping into the slower rhythms of sleep, and glanced up to the doorway. Bella was certain that Jake didn’t know that his head was in her lap, cushioned by a bevy of pillows from the cold and unyielding hardness of her skin. 

Edward was standing in the door, his head cocked. “What are you thinking?” he asked. 

Bella ran a hand through her hair, and made a face. “Let’s take a walk.” She extracted herself from Jacob’s sleeping form. They left the house by way of the front door, and wandered out into the woods.

It was a few minutes until they were out of earshot of the rest of the family, on a cliff high above a river. Bella walked a few steps away from Edward, not quite able to face him while she asked this of him. 

“Jacob once told me it was possible to love more than one person,” she said. 

“I once asked Jacob to do me a favor,” Edward countered. 

“Oh, I remember that conversation,” Bella said. “Try to convince me to get rid of Renesmee, have many little Jacob-babies.”

“In my defense, I thought you were going to die,” Edward said. 

Bella turned around, back to the river, her heels dangling off the cliff. “I know. I’m… going to be perfectly honest with you, I did give it a few seconds’ thought.”

Edward laughed. “Nice to know my arguments had some effect.”

“It’s a moot point now, but…” 

“You’re asking me if you should ask Jacob to kiss you again?” Edward said. 

If Bella could blush, she would be redder than a tomato. 

“You still have no poker face, Bella,” Edward said. 

“It’s just… it’s not… I mean, I married  _ you _ ,” Bella said. “Not even a year ago.”

“True,” Edward said. “But you  _ do  _ love him, and you have for longer than that.”

“I always thought after I was changed he would hate me, but… he’s still here,” Bella said. She had thought this to herself a thousand times over, but never said it out loud. “But that’s only because of Renesmee.”

“It’s not,” Edward said. “He still loves you.”

Bella looked at him, her eyes narrowed. “How do you know that?” 

“I’m breaking a few confidentiality laws,” Edward said. “But if  _ I  _ don’t say something, we’re going to spend the rest of eternity dancing around this subject.”

“This is very strange coming from you of all people,” Bella said.

Edward shrugged. “It’s been a revelation. Eternity is a very long time.”

“Still,” Bella said. “It’s not very traditional.”

Edward shrugged again. “I’ve expanded my horizons. I’ve been reading a lot. The internet is a very helpful place.”

“Just to get this straight,” Bella said. “You, my vampire husband, want me, your vampire wife, to ask Jacob, a shapeshifter specifically evolved to kill vampires, to kiss me?”

“Only if you want to,” Edward said. “But you’ve been trying to solve this issue for a long time, and this seems like a good solution, if you’re both amenable.”

“And you’re fine with this?” 

“I’m… less averse to the idea than I was before you became immortal,” Edward said. “I could, heh, warm up to it. It’s not like time is a real worry for me.”

“I’ll think about it,” Bella said, and not bothering to turn around, she stepped backward off the cliff and plunged into the river.

-

Bella came back to the house just before dark, and breezed in through the open glass doors. The family was arranged artfully (though unintentionally so) around the room, it was all very domestic. If domesticity included half a dozen supermodels. 

“Rose,” she said, almost sotto voce, and Rosalie glanced up at Bella from her book. “Can I talk with you?” 

“Sure,” Rosalie said.

They went out, the opposite direction that Bella and Edward had gone earlier. They walked in companionable silence, Rosalie letting Bella gather her thoughts.

“You were jealous before, when I was human,” Bella said, finally. “But you’re not any more.”

“No,” Rosalie said. “You have everything I wanted from a human life. And Renesmee is almost like having a child of my own… if you’ll excuse a little overstepping of an aunt’s role…”

Bella waved her off, “To be completely honest, I’m more than fine with your relationship with Renesmee. That’s not what I wanted to… talk’s not the right word, but… well…”

“Is it Jacob?” Rosalie asked. 

“Damn perceptive vampires,” Bella muttered. “Yeah.”

“You still love him.” It was a statement not a question.

“I do,” Bella said. “There was never really any question of that. But… Well, Edward said that if I wanted to ask Jacob to kiss me again he’d be fine with it. Is that… is he… I don’t know what I’m asking.”

Rosalie laughed, a tinkling bell noise. “Oh, Bella. Sometimes I forget how young you actually are. Don’t take that as an insult, I don’t mean it that way. It’s just that when you’ve lived a few human lifetimes, your worldview is a little more… elastic.”

“Edward always seemed so… traditional,” Bella said.

“He is. But now he’s got you for life and more, and he’s willing to be elastic. Polyamory isn’t unheard of among our kind. It’s less common now than it was in the days of old. That’s a story you should hear from Carlisle, actually. But the point is, what I think you’re asking me is if Edward’s off his rocker. No, I don’t.”

“Poly… amory?” Bella said. 

“Consensual non-monogamy,” Rosalie said. “Having more than one romantic relationship at a time, but all the partners are aware of what’s happening.”

Bella blinked a few times. “I had… not considered that there might be a term for it.”

“Like I said, you’re younger than most of us think you are,” Rosalie said. 

“Huh,” Bella said. “That’s… Do you think I should ask Jacob to kiss me?”

“That’s between you and the wolf,” Rosalie said. “But may I recommend a breath mint if you’re going to?”

-

“Hey Jake,” Bella said. “You feel up to a walk?”

It was a few days later, and Jacob was mostly recovered, though his arm still stung where the leech (with apologies to present company) had bitten him.

“Sure,” Jacob said. “Where are we going?” 

“Your choice,” Bella said, “just away from people.” 

“Interesting,” Jacob said, but he was already halfway out the door and halfway undressed by the time he finished the word. 

He phased into a leap off the deck, and she ran after him, still marvelling a little at the fact that she could keep up with him. They went over the river and on into the Park, deeper toward the mountains, where the ground began to slope sharply upwards. Jacob stuck to the riverside, and began to slow as they neared a thundering waterfall. It was inaccessible by trail, and the nearest humans were a dozen miles away. 

It was… ridiculously picturesque. Sunlight slanted through the trees, hitting the mist of that the falls kicked up. 

Jacob went behind a tree, shifted back to human, and came strolling, too casually, back out, thumbs in his pocket.

“This place is beautiful,” Bella said, looking around. 

“Yeah,” Jacob said. “It’s got nothing on present company though. Ah, sorry.”

“Actually,” Bella said. She took a deep, incredibly unnecessary breath to steel herself. The flood of smelltaste was catalogued as an afterthought. Jacob’s wolfy smell, foremost (despite what she had said originally, after a time, it wasn’t so much unpleasant as incredibly annoying. It  _ demanded _ her attention, setting her nerves on edge if she didn’t consciously acknowledge its source.), warm and spicy. The wet-woods smell of the rainforest. The river. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Shit,” Jacob said. “He told you, didn’t he? Fucker said he’d keep it confidential.”

“Jacob,” Bella said, her amber eyes searching his face, “I still love you.”

“Wha—” Clearly whatever Jacob had expected, it wasn’t this. “But that doesn’t matter,” he said flatly.

“Doesn’t it, though?” Bella said. “Jacob, you’re going to be around us for a very long time.”

“Bella, you chose  _ him _ . I accepted that, and I came back, and then I  _ imprinted _ on your  _ daughter _ .”

“Yes,” Bella said, “fate’s a weird thing. But you don’t... “ she shuddered.

“For Ness? No, absolutely one hundred percent, no. You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted that way.” 

“Even now? With me like this? Beyond my human self? With my heart not beating?” 

“Always,” Jacob said. “But it’s my cross to bear, so to speak.”

“What if it didn’t have to be?” Bella asked. 

“What are you playing at?” Jacob asked, sharply. “You haven’t even been married a year, and you’re already looking for a way out?” 

“Jake, no,” Bella said, quickly. “I…crap, I really messed this up.” 

“You want to try again?” Jacob asked, eyebrow raised.

Bella huffed a laugh. “Ok. Well. Sure. Would you kiss me?”

Jacob froze. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The falls are a real place, Solduc Falls, but I moved them to a more remote location. 
> 
> Seriously though, the Olympic Peninsula is Fake News.


	3. Chapter 3

“Is this an elaborate joke?” Jacob said? “Did Rose put you up to this? Are there cameras?”

“What? Jake, no,” Bella said, and Jacob heard the offended tone in her voice. 

“You’re serious,” Jacob was actually dumbfounded. “You know, if you punch me in the face again, it’ll do damage to me.”

“I wasn’t planning on punching you in the face,” Bella said. 

“And your  _ husband _ ?” The word still twisted a tiny knife in Jacob’s heart. 

“This was his idea, believe it or not,” Bella said. 

“Now that, I don’t believe,” Jacob said. “He spent the better part of two years trying very hard not to rip me to shreds for even  _ thinking _ about kissing you, and now he wants me to?” 

“Circumstances changed,” Bella said. “I’m a lot less breakable than I used to be, we’re all a little bit immortal, and eternity is a very long time.”

“And how does that lead to you me kissing you?” 

“If you don’t want to, you can just say so, Jake,” Bella said. 

“I do,” Jacob said. “I just want to make sure you’re not going to yank it away in two days because you changed your mind again.”

Bella sighed, and sat down on the forest floor, her back against a tree. “I owe you a thousand apologies,” she said.

“You’ve given me a thousand apologies,” Jacob said, sitting next to her, shoulder to shoulder. 

“And yet I keep hurting you,” Bella said. 

“We know why,” Jacob said.

“Jake, if you tell me your ridiculous theory about being imprinted on my eggs again, I’m going to throw you off this cliff,” Bella said. 

“You can believe it or not,” Jacob said. “But just because the Burning Desire to be near you all the time has gone away doesn’t mean I don’t have independent feelings for you. I’ve loved you for a long time, Bella.”

She rolled her head around the trunk to look at him. “And you’ve suffered for it.”

“And I had packed all those feelings away, nice and tight,” Jacob said. “You know Nessie was going to be enough for me. She  _ is _ enough for me.”

“And now I’ve reached in and asked you to pull them out,” Bella said, quietly. “I once tried to put my feelings for you in a nice tight drawer.”

“What a pair we are,” Jacob said. 

“Unconventional to say the least,” Bella said with a laugh. It was strange, even through the perfect pitch of her vampiric voice, Jacob could still hear the laugh of the human girl he had fallen in love with.

“Do you still want me to kiss you?” Jacob asked. 

Bella nodded. 

Jacob reached up a hand to cup her face. Her skin wasn’t really like ice, it was burningly cold. He wondered idly how he felt to her now. 

“What do I feel like to you?” he asked, staring into her eyes, such a strange amber color. 

“Hot,” Bella said, “like when you open the door to a very hot oven and the heat sears your face. Just shy of intolerable.”

“Just shy of intolerable, indeed,” Jacob said. “Fire and ice.”

“Eternal opposites.”

“Do you really think that?” 

“No,” Bella admitted, her jaw moving against Jacob’s palm.

“Good,” he said, and leaned forward just a little to capture her lips against his. This was very different from the times he had kissed her before. Besides the temperature difference, her skin was marble-smooth now. 

And there was the little matter of her venom. It bit at his tongue and he tried to ignore it, but it soon became more than intolerable, and he had to pull back, and spit. 

“Shit,” he said. “Forgot about that.”

“Oh, Jake,” she said, “I’m sorry.”

“Nah,” he said. “Comes with the territory, I guess. Should heal up in a minute or two.”

They sat in awkward silence then, Jacob’s heart rabbiting in his chest.

“So,” he said at the same time she said, “Well that—”

“Go ahead,” he said.

“So, aside from the venom…” 

“Yeah, we’re doing that again,” Jacob said. “Maybe if you drink some water first?”

“Worth a try,” Bella said, and then she was gone, down into the gorge. He heard her gargling in the stream, and then she was back, crouched in front of him. The hems of her jeans were barely wet. 

“So,” she said, “should we give this another try?” 

-

“Ow, shit,” Bella said. “What the hell?” 

Jacob’s lips were kiss-swollen, and he looked a little dazed. Bella reached up, and ran a thumb across her own lips. There, in the middle of her lower lip, was a small crack. 

“Huh,” Jacob said. “I didn’t know my human teeth were strong enough to crack your skin, too.”

“Looks like we’re both dangerous to each other,” Bella said. 

“What’s eternal life without a little danger?” 

-

They made it back to the house before dark, and it was suspiciously empty.

“Where is everyone?” Jacob asked. 

A lone figure waited on the deck, and neither of them needed sight to tell them that it was Edward. 

They came out of the woods, at an almost sedately human pace. Jacob glanced up at Edward, then back at Bella. “You know what?” he said, suddenly. “I’m gonna go have dinner with my dad. See you later.” And then he was a wolf and off like a shot. 

Edward stepped down off the deck and pulled Bella into his arms, kissing her fervently. 

“You taste like a dog,” he said. 

“Comes with the territory,” Bella said cautiously. “How are you doing?” 

“Me?” Edward said. “I’m fine. Surprisingly so, actually.” 

“Oh?” Bella asked. 

“Yes,” Edward said. “There’s no tiny lingering doubt that you made a hundred wrong life choices anymore.” He shrugged. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great,” Bella said. “He thought he was on candid camera. And then I told him it was your idea.”

Edward burst into peals of laughter. “Oh, I would pay a lot to have seen that,” he said. 

Bella did him one better. She pushed the bounds of her gift out and replayed just that one moment for him, studiously skipping the hours that followed. 

-

The hidden waterfall became Bella and Jacob’s special place over the next few weeks, and they frequently found time to slip away there together. 

One sunny August afternoon, she was sitting on his lap, his fingers buried in her hair. She was casting reflected rainbows across Jacob’s face, a thousand tiny prisms in motion.

“You know,” he said. “Sparkling vampires is a ridiculous concept.”

Bella barked a laugh. “Oh, the first time I thought about it outside of the context of how dazzlingly attractive I found Edward, I thought the same thing.”

Jacob looked at her, a strange expression on his face. “Is it too forward of me to ask to… see more?” he said, thumbing almost too casually at the button of her shirt.

Bella was only a little surprised. She and Edward had discussed this, of course, but to put it into practice was an entirely different beast. 

_ Don’t be a coward _ echoed faintly from her human days. 

She nodded, and he pushed the button through the buttonhole. 

His thumb left a trail of fire as he ran it across her collarbone, and he cocked his head to the side.

“What does it feel like?” he asked. “Being that way?”

“What way?” Bella asked. 

“Being so… hard.”

“It’s, hmm,” Bella said. She tried to remember what it was like to be human, but the memories were strangely murky even less than a year later. “It’s all so different. It’s not like I’m wrapped in a sheet of marble or something, because everything is just… different. I’m durable in ways a human never could be. Can you describe what it feels like to phase?”

Jacob considered a moment, then shook his head. 

“It’s all lived experience, I guess,” Bella said..

-

“Nessie, that’s cheating!” Jacob said. 

“It’s technically not,” Rosalie said. “I think Jasper taught her that one.”

Renesmee held a chess piece and looked smug. 

“It’s still cheating,” Jacob muttered. 

Bella was sitting on the piano bench, her back leaning against Edward where he played an idle tune. It was September again, a few days before Ness’ first birthday.

There were a lot of things she would not have predicted would happen over the last year, but seeing her best friend and her daughter playing chess was something no one (literally, no one) could have seen coming. 

And yet, it seemed normal now. She rose, crossed the room, and trailed her fingers through Nessie’s hair and then Jacob’s. Neither said anything to her, instead they were resetting their chess board. (Edward swore Jacob was never going to win, but he was determined) She continued out onto the deck, and looked up at the dark autumn sky. The bright pin lights of the stars looked completely different to her immortal eyes. 

An errant thought of vampiric astronauts crossed her mind.

The sounds of piano music drifted off from inside, and Edward came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Want to go home?” he asked. She nodded, and he lifted her just a few inches off the ground, and ran. It was an odd sensation, being carried now, but it wasn’t an unpleasant one. 

Their cottage was dark, but that didn’t mean anything, and she turned herself in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. 

He set her down on their bed, and nearly bowled her over. 

“Can I confess something to you?” he said, lying lengthwise across the bed, his head next to hers.

“Of course,” Bella said.

“I’m jealous of you.”

“In what way?” 

“You’ve taken to this life like a, well, swan to water.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” 

“No, not at all. It’s just all settled neatly into place, like it’s the end of some four-book young adult novel series,” Edward said.

“You remember the vampire royalty that plotted to kill us all a few months ago, right?” Bella said.

“Yes, but after that. It’s idyllic and you’re so  _ young _ and you get to enjoy it immediately,” Edward said. “I’m just comparing it to my own experiences. I’m very glad you got to have an… existence this way, but I wish it could be this easy for everyone.”

Bella was silent for a long while. “You know,” she said. “In the end of that book series, Jacob probably would’ve ended up with Nessie.”

She could hear Edward’s face scrunch up. “That’s disgusting.”

“You’re telling me,” Bella said. “I like this way much better.”

“So do I,” Edward said.

“Good,” Bella said. “Because eternity is a very long time.”

_ A very long time indeed.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sequel in which Bella and Jacob plot to seduce Edward is in the works, because WHY THE HELL NOT, I DO WHAT I WANT.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found anywhere a were wolfs @fireflyslove.


End file.
